by Aurora Bordeaux
Oh, come on. You remember me. Right? We sat next to each other in sixth grade social studies, and no, I have totally not been stalking you on Facebook this entire time. Although your wedding photos were lovely and I like your new haircut.
Just kidding, peeps! It’s me, your old friend Aurora Bordeaux! You remember, the intrepid once-suburbanite and krav maga enthusiast who started blogging one day out of the blue about not wanting children, only to later learn there is a word for this (“childfree,” who knew) and accidentally collect more than 380,000 page loads plus a treasure trove of online buddies from all over the globe.
Oh, and then there’s that Childfree Forum you guys asked for, which has blown the Hubs and I away with more than 111,000 page loads since November of last year. Please visit the forum. I think a combination of SLLLS (summer la-la land syndrome) and possibly me being such a slackaroonie on posting blogs has made it lose a little pep. There are cool and interesting people there. Go meet them. Shoo! But please read this first.
So, okay, I love you guys so much. And I missed you. And I only feel it fair that I owe you an explanation as to where the hellsbananas I went.
This is what I’ve been doing since January:
One: I’ve, like, been super busy.
I have been growing my hair out again. I mean, that’s a lot of work. I totally understand what these pregnant ladies are talking about now, because growing stuff from your own body is, like, exhausting. Some days, it was everything I could do to juggle a full-throttle work schedule, make or buy and then eat food, go for a leisurely bike ride, attempt to maintain a blossoming social existence in the new city we moved to just about a year ago, and marathon House of Cards while sipping bourbon. (That show is so crackalicious I can’t stand it. It’s like looking directly into Satan’s cornea, mesmerized as you watch the iris expand and contract in splinters of genius evil.)
Two: Font sentimentality can be the enemy of production.
I have been trying to figure out how to do my blog pictures the way I want to, because now I have a shiny Mac and the art programs don’t have the comfortable, rudimentary controls my clunker Windows PC offered in the 1992 classic Paint program. This may sound like the dumbest reason of all to procrastinate on a blog project I am passionate about, but I get so many giggles out of the photos and captions, and I like the old format. Then I realized I needed to get over it and figure out how to start over with a new program. Maybe Skitch? Who knows. It’s sentimental, because sometimes I get attached to the little things, like my favorite font for blog photo captions. (PS, Sincere thanks to The Hubs, who after reading this installed “Paintbrush,” which gave me back my Goudy Old Style.)
Three: I wasn’t sure I had anything left worth saying.
Since moving to a new city, I’ve gone from pseudo-freak-of-nature status to artsy darling amongst peer groups. It’s funny, because I have hardly changed a bit—in fact, I’ve given my many freak flags full permission to unfurl and fly strong since relocating a year ago—but where our fellow country folk once found me tolerable at best, now people we meet seem to find me funny, engaging, intelligent, and even endearing. This all sounds terribly narcissistic to my anti-me-me-me ears, and I hope it’s not. It all boils down to the fact that one of the reasons I took a break from the blog was because I no longer needed to desperately vent and find sustenance in a world where I was not considered a massive, tumor-like anomaly for not having children (and not having the decency to be devastated by it).
Back in the ‘burbs, I was a lonely, shivering chicken with few folks to cluck along with. Here, I’m a peacock amongst a clan who loves color. Basically, for several months I took a pause to wonder if I still had anything to say. Baby Off Board has been such a tremendous, frankly life-changing project that I didn’t want to spoil it just because I was afraid to let go.
So, does the appearance of a fresh swatch of words in your browser mean I’m back?
Yeppers. I realized I have a lot to say about life in the city—and how fun it is. I realized I still bump into funny, awkward, and sometimes uncomfortable situations because I have opted out of people-parenthood. And I realized I missed this, and I missed you guys.
So I’m not sure exactly what direction Baby Off Board may veer going forward. It might be little stories about things that happen to me (or that I happen to) in my daily city adventures—aka, the “childfree lifestyle.” It might be a commentary about what it was like to have my baby niece sleep in our bathroom. And oh, the inlaws? They’re still very much around.
So, my dearies, I’m back on the radar with Radio Free Bordeaux. Echo back!
PS–I forgot to mention, I’ve been trolling around the swamp in outfits that advertise only my intelligence like a hot, bored alligator, then dancing in the desert like a dog that has to pee. Like I said, city living is different.