Three Reasons I Shouldn’t Have Children

by Olivia Daschle

Reasons why I should NOT have children:

  1. For lunch today, I ate three (that’s right, three) bowls of chocolate frosted miniwheats. As if that was not bad enough, I ate them with milk, despite the fact that I am fully aware of my lactose intolerance.
  2. I forgot how Felicity ends, so I spent the entire night looking up clips on youtube and reading forums dating back to 2001 desperately trying to piece the ending together, only to find out that the entire show is streaming on Netflix. Of course, by this time, it was 2am – yet I still watched the last two episodes. (Spoiler alert: when you watch a show almost 15 years after you first watched it, you kind of wonder why on earth you watched it in the first place.)
  3. I can’t think of a third one, but I’m pretty sure the first two sum it up.

Olivia Daschle is Aurora’s friend and sometime blog contributor. She is the kind of woman who, as a child, enjoyed wearing pink ruffled dresses, climbing trees, and pretending to be an international spy turned double agent. Her adult life is sadly absent of espionage, but she is a crusader for equality and social justice at a national progressive advocacy organization. 

  • Casey says:

    Hey, I’ve been reading this site religiously for a couple days. I love it! I’m also a woman who does not want kids, and I’m also lactose intolerant…but that is just a random commonality. I love the sense of humor here, and I’m only 22, so I have to deal with everyone telling me that,”You’ll change your mind”, or just laughing obnoxiously and saying, “ohh, you just wait you’re going to have a million kids”, like hell I will! Keep up the good work!

    March 27, 2012 at 3:11 pm
    • Aurora Bordeaux says:

      Hi Casey! Thanks so much for your comment! Baby Off Board is a long time coming. Sorry to share that the upper 20′s are no easier than the lower 20′s, in that now, in addition to people telling me more and more that I’ll change my mind, they also like to calculate my age and point it out to me as if I don’t know the clock is ticking. I can only imagine what 35 will feel like (“you’re out of time!”) or 45 (“you poor, lonely, tragic thing!”).

      Stick with us, girl–there’s loads more content on the way! :)

      March 27, 2012 at 3:24 pm
  • Lynellekw says:

    I’m a few years ahead of you – having just turned 34, I now have people assuring me that “there’s still time!”. Yes. Yes, there is. Or, “You can adopt!”. Thank you. If I were planning to have children, I would seriously consider adoption. When doctors mention children to me, I fix them with a steely gaze and say, “We don’t plan to have children.” Then they don’t ask again. The last doctor to mention it was a woman. She responded, “Me either. Don’t feel the need, but some people think it’s important!” And then we moved on to another topic.

    March 27, 2012 at 3:39 pm
  • melissa says:

    Just wanted to chime in with lynellek. Your early 30s get much, much worse. Everyone and their mom starts popping out kids and you really get to start feeling like a bit of a freak. A happy one, but a freak.

    Love the bit about Felicity. I find myself doing stupid searches like that all the time. Wasting time leisurely is definitely a benefit of being kid-free!

    March 28, 2012 at 8:26 pm

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